haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
