but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
PANTIES FOUND
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
