I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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