OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
