I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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