I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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