She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
