You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
