he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
