Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
