Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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