Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
