best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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