dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
