so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
