OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
