it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
only if we run a train.
done.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
