i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
