It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
