omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
