good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
