Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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