I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
