I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
