Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
