You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
