would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize