Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
