i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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