Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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