Non-Jews are for practice
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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