Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
