i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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