you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
