It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
