well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
