Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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