i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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