I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
