Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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