I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
