also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
there's paper in my vomit.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
