Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
