The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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