Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
