Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
