I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
