Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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