Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
