We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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