I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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