He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
