You just made me feel so damn special
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
