So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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