i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We are two peas in an std pod
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize