party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
