i can't believe i had my finger in that
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
