i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
ttyl tear gas
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
