ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That accounts for only three of the penises
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
