hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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