Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
