K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
